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His skin was pale, and illness had left deep shadows beneath his eyes.
He looked at me and smiled as though he had been expecting me.
“Hello, Nancy,” he said softly.
I stood beside his bed holding a blood pressure cuff, feeling as if my entire life had followed me into that hospital room.
“Thomas,” I finally whispered. “Oh my goodness. Thomas.”
Sometimes I checked his medication.
Sometimes I simply sat beside him after my duties were finished.
I confessed that I had not married either.
We laughed about our gray hair, our aching knees, and the foolish dreams we had once shared.
“You still drink your coffee black?” he asked one afternoon.
“I do.”
There was something unusual about his calmness.
Thomas seemed peaceful.
He carried himself like someone who had been waiting a very long time for one final thing to happen.
One morning, he asked me a careful question.
“Do you have any family nearby, Nancy? Anyone helping you?”
“Only a distant cousin named Raymond. He has been calling more often since I moved back.”
For one brief moment, Thomas’s expression changed.
His jaw tightened.
Then he relaxed and quickly changed the subject.
I did not understand why at the time.
That same week, Raymond’s calls became even more persistent.
“Are you seeing anyone?” he asked. “You shouldn’t be alone at your age.”
“I’m doing fine.”
“Have you made a will? Someone responsible should be listed in case something happens.”
“I told you, Raymond. I’m fine.”
He asked which bank I used.
He wanted to know whether I owned the apartment.
He mentioned Aunt Margaret again, proudly describing how he had handled everything near the end of her life.
I remembered that Margaret had died almost penniless in a rented room.
For the first time, I wondered why that memory made me so uneasy.
Still, I ignored my instincts.
I had spent much of my life ignoring things that made me uncomfortable.
Then, one afternoon, Thomas asked me to sit beside him.
His hand found mine on top of the blanket.
It felt light and cold.
“Nancy,” he said, “I feel terrible asking this.”
Our conversations had grown more affectionate with each passing day, but the seriousness in his voice frightened me.
“Ask me.”
“I have loved you for my entire life.”
Part 2:
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