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“Just weekends?” I asked instead.
My hand moved before my conscience could stop it. I drew the cash toward myself and felt its weight settle into my palm like a small, heavy rock.
“When do I start?”
“Saturday. And Jeremy. Don’t get attached.”
I nodded, already aware that I had agreed to become somebody I was not.
Room 214. I knocked once, opened the door, and walked in.
“Mama,” I said, the word feeling unfamiliar on my tongue. “It’s me. Tim.”
“There you are!” she whispered.
I crossed the room and held her hands. I had expected myself to feel smart and distant. Instead, shame rose hot in my throat.
“I’m okay, Mama.”
“Are you sleeping enough, Timmy? You always pushed yourself too hard.”
I stayed there for an hour, mostly letting her talk. Rosie spoke about a garden I had never stepped into and a dog I had never had, and I nodded as though those memories belonged to me.
“Come back soon.”
“I will, Mama.”
As I turned toward the door, I looked back and saw tears glistening in her eyes. She quickly turned away and wiped them with the edge of her blanket.
On my second visit, I carried tulips. On the third, I brought a little box of caramel chocolates the nurse told me Rosie enjoyed. By the fourth visit, I arrived on a Wednesday, even though Tim had not paid for that day.
In the hallway, I ran into Margaret, a delicate woman with sharp eyes and a cardigan far too large for her frame. She watched me walk past her door with flowers in my hand.
“You visit her a lot,” she said.
“She’s my mother.”
Margaret angled her head. “She’s the sweetest soul here. You’re lucky.”
The way she said it made me glance away.
Tim phoned that Friday. His voice was tight.
“You don’t need to go midweek, Jeremy. This is just a job. Keep it simple.”
“She gets lonely.”
“She has dementia. She forgets the second you leave.”
I clenched the phone harder. “Maybe. But she remembers while I’m there.”
He ended the call.
Weeks faded into months. I began skipping lunch so I could drive across town. I read Rosie the newspaper. I massaged her hands when her knuckles hurt.
One afternoon, she leaned closer, breathing lightly, her eyes clearer than I had ever seen them.
“You’re a good man, son,” she said.
I nearly broke apart right there.
“Mama, I…”
“Shh.” She patted my cheek. “I know what I know.”
I did not understand it then. I convinced myself it was only the dementia, only loose words floating free.
That night, I drove home thinking about my own mother and how rarely I sat beside her the way I sat beside Rosie. I promised myself I would do better. Call more often. Stay longer.
Two days later, my phone rang while I was loading boxes into the truck.
It was the director of the nursing home.
“Jeremy. Rosie passed away in her sleep last night.”
I lowered the box onto the wet pavement.
“And she left something for you.”
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